“Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.” – Exodus 34:6

My Way

As human beings, we know we have a tendency to be selfish. Let me say that again….you, yes you, can and have been a selfish person. Each of us has our own likes, dislikes; things we hate and things love. We may disagree over food “genres” (Seafood, Italian, Chinese, American, etc.) and have a favorite different from our spouse. However, the way in which we relate these differences to our spouse can tend to come across as selfish.

It is not wrong to have wants and desires but we have to learn how to come into a balanced relationship with our spouse when we have differences in tastes, styles, opinions, etc.

God’s Way

In Exodus 34:6, we learn more about God’s character. He is full of love, compassion, and mercy. He has laid out his perfect plan for us in His Word. He tells us exactly what “His way” is. He tells us exactly with no question about what he expects – what he wants from us in our relationship with Him.

We break “His Way” time and time again – and we owe him everything that is in us for all he has done for us. He gave us Jesus, salvation from our sin – and death – and the promise for us to live with Him for eternity in paradise. And, yet he is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love. When you couple that with his unending faithfulness to us – you get quite the promise.

He promises to always be with us, never leave us, never forsake us, and give us every chance in the book to come back to Him. He understands we’re a fallen people and prone to the troubles our sinful minds plague us with every day.

What if we treated our Spouse with that same, deep, steadfast, unending love, patience, and faithfulness – even on the small things we disagree on.

“Our Way”

Instead of having a “My Way”, make an “Our Way” for your marriage. Commit to giving deference (defined as “courteous regard”) to your spouse and provide them with grace and love as a foundation for all the ways in which you communicate together.

Neither of you (in most cases…) are ill-willed people, in fact, you are “good-willed” people that want the best for your lives together. It’s just when we try to mix that desire with our individual desire we end up on the wrong end of things.

Independently, create a list of all of your favorite things consisting of: foods, events, activities, hobbies. Then share that list with one another and find the common listings. Then, discuss the differences.

In all things, strive to show your spouse the same love and faithfulness (tempered with patience) that God consistently promises and demonstrates to us.

You are loved by Him so more immeasurably more than you could ever think and so is your spouse. When we let God’s love flow through us, even when we face conflict – we can really start to find Joy in our marriages.